Great Expectations

Isnt' it funny how we think by a certain time in our lives we are supposed to have it "together."

Next week I will be turning 25. "A quarter of a century, makes a girl think." (That's a quote by Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot. If you haven't seen it, go see it now... or after you finish reading my blog. But seriously, it's one of my favorites)

Over the past week or so I have found myself rather frustrated. Last week I lost a deal that I have been working on for nearly 2 years. I have several deals that I really thought would have closed by now and haven't. And I have also found myself wanting to go be with friends, but feeling so exhausted that I can't. I also have been evaluating my priorites (like missing kickball so I can go to church), and still feeling like I am on the fence with others.

Anyway, if I think back I can always remember feeling like I should have it more "together," but especially now. 10 years ago I would have said that by now I would be in love/engaged/married, working a great job, spending lots of time with my friends, and able to go do lots of trips and such. My reality is that while some of these things have taken place, not all have. I do love my job. I work with some wonderful customers and have the best boss in the world (my dad). But that also comes with a price: high expectations. I find myself constantly feeling pressure to have higher numbers and fill my father's shoes (in sales, that is, not in owning the company -although there is a slight pressure of if I'll ever do that or not). So I come into the office at 6:30 in the morning and work till 5, or come in at 8 and work till 7. Not to mention traveling around the state a lot. But I really do love my job. I know that this hard work is what allowed me to accomplish my goal of having a Mini Cooper ("Pepper"), which I have wanted for so long.

Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on some of the "greatest days of my life" though. I'm 25 and working my tush off. I am blessed to go to a wonderful church and work with a great bunch of youth (who I love and would gladly take a bullet for any of them).

I guess it raises one question: If my life isn't where I thought it would be by now, I have to rewrite my current expecations to avoid disappointment. So what do I expect my life should look like by 25?

If I stop and think about it, I think I'm probably not too far off. Are there things I still want? Yes. But do I feel like the choices I have made in my life have lead me to here... and I'm pretty happy with those choices.

Looks like I'm rewriting my expectations already...