What's in a name?

When people describe you, what words do they use? Funny? Smart? Witty? The best gosh-durn line dancer this dance floor has ever seen? While the latter of these choices has never been used to describe me, I always note exactly what it is that people see in me.

I guess it all starts with the basics. How do I see myself? Christian. Girl. Personable. Sales representative. Semi-responsible. Employed (thankfully). Blessed. Busy.

I guess the reason that this has been on my mind is because last week I had a rough week. Someone I've known for many years called me fake. I used to struggle a lot with living a double life. It was easy for me to go to Campus Crusade on Tuesdays, Bible Study on Wednesday; and go to out searching for mischief on Friday and Saturday; while still making it to church on Sunday. (Monday and Thursday must have been my only study days?)

So I did both, hoping that God would turn a blind eye to Friday and Saturday nights. The result was a very long battle of figuring out who I am. One day God revealed to me, “SHANNON I MADE YOU THIS WAY!! I made you the crazy, fun loving, passionate, girl who likes beer and has a short filter between what she thinks and what she says! A girl who is able to talk to ANYONE (man, woman, or child) and make them feel comfortable. A girl who is able to do ministry by talking to anyone, and is not easily intimidated. You are made in my image and you are wonderfully made. And, Shannon, I have called you mine.” For me that was it. No more double life. I am going to be me.

Well, I'd say that the result of that wonderful conversation I had with God brought out the best in me. I finally began to feel comfortable in my own skin.

Isn't it funny when people say that you remind them of someone? I always love it, while at the same time holding a slight fear that they might secretly be annoyed by whomever I possess similar traits to. I used to have this horrifying fear that I was/am, in fact, TOO loud. I have always been a bit of a loud mouth and my laugh is rather intense (and often causes me to be embarrassed when I laugh loudly in quiet rooms).

... but I digress...

My darling friend, Noel, told me once: "Shannon, do you know what I love about you? You're like a wholesome Karen Walker." For those of you sad, people who don't know who Karen Walker is please see the photo below. Karen is a character from Will and Grace and is described as "a spoiled, shrill, gold-digging socialite who would sooner chew off her own foot than do an honest day's work". She is also a shallow, alcoholic/pill popper, who is absolutely crude and completely selfish, often with a tenuous grip on reality and very few morals. But she is also surprisingly charming and completely hilarious.

So, what about my personality is like Karen's?

Recently, another one of my friends told me that if I was a character from SATC I would be Samantha Jones (only without her approach to men and all that). This was a bit surprising to me. I always identified myself with Charlotte because of her romantic perspective on love. Again, if you take out the character's approach to men, am I more like Samantha? I'm not Miranda, sometimes see a bit of Carrie in me. But, really? Samantha? Well, I guess I do tell it like it is, much like Samantha does.

Ironically, I know what it is that I have in common with both of these characters: if I didn’t know and love Christ, and have the Holy Spirit living in me, I would be a tragic combination of those two characters. I am big enough to admit it. I would probably be so reckless in my life that people might tolerate me, but not respect me. If I wasn’t a Christian, I would be a combination of those two desperate women.

I am very entertained by both of these characters. They are funny in their own ways, and, at the core, both of them are good people. Neither of them play the villain on their shows, and both of the shows are clearly comedies. So is that all I would be? A desperate funny girl with a list of traits a mile long that are negative?

So why do others see those characters in me? I guess that’s just it. I was made that way. I strive to honor God in all that I do, but I’m still blunt and outspoken like Samantha and sometimes self-centered like Karen. But Samantha and Karen are very loyal, and always look out for their friends.

All of this being said, I am thankful for the woman God made me to be. I AM SO THANKFUL THAT HE SAVED ME FROM BECOMING EITHER OF THOSE CHARACTERS!!

When I was little I learned a song that said:

“I’m just as glad as I can be, that I am no one else but me. I like myself. My funny nose, my two big ears, and my wiggly toes. I even like the way I grow. I may not always like the things I do, but I like me and I like you.”

So true. So very true.